Gray's Spaghetti Carbonara Delight in the Youth Hostel
by Graysmirks
Summary: You've been cooking pasta wrong the whole time. Lucy, Cana, Erza, Gray and Natsu are on a trip and sleep in a youth hostel; and the delight isn't only in the ice-mage's Spaghetti.


Gray's Spaghetti Carbonara Delight in the Youth Hostel _You've been cooking pasta wrong the whole time_ Summary: _You've been cooking pasta wrong the whole time._ Lucy, Cana, Erza, Gray and Natsu are on a trip and sleep in a youth hostel; and the delight isn't only in the ice-mage's Spaghetti.

Lucy, Cana, Erza, Gray and Natsu were on a long weekend trip and stayed the night in a hostel. The cheap youth hostel was in a lost town in the mountains. They had bought food in a supermarket and were about to prepare it and have dinner in the hostel kitchen and dining room. Pasta was the thing to prepare and eat.

They guys were having a passionate and loud discussion about cooking. They would have bothered the other clients if they hadn't been alone in that floor.

Gray: No! Not like this! You know nothing about cooking. You've been doing it wrong the whole time!

Cana: What do you mean! I've cooked pasta a million times before. I bet I've cooked pasta more than four times as much as you!

Gray: Yep! And you've done it incorrectly each time!

Lucy: Let's listen to Gray for a sec. How do you like to cook your spaghetti?

Gray: Obviously _al dente._ You put plenty of water to boil at full power; check the boiling time in the pasta package. Then add the pasta -it shouldn't occupy more than a third of the boiling water, no salt needed!- Wait exactly the "al dente boiling time" less a minute and pour the pasta in a wringer to get rid of the water. You rinse it with plenty of cold tap water and…

Cana: Nope, I detect the biggest mistake here. You can't just rinse it with cold water! You cool down the pasta instantly and you end up having camping spaghetti!

Gray: Oh please, shut up and let me continue! Then you put the pasta in the microwave oven and nuke it for 2 or 3 minutes.

Natsu: What if the wringer is metal?!

Gray: You just use a cheap post World War I plastic wringer made in China!

Lucy: And do you think it's better to nuke the pasta to heat it up again instead of just wringing it out right after boiling?

Gray: Yeah, here's the whole point of it! If you just wring it out right after, you get hot pasta but probably sticky.

Cana: That's why at that point you pour oil on it or the desired sauce.

Gray: No, much better this way. With my -correct- method, you get not soaked, not sticky hot pasta. With the cold water rinsing, you get rid of the stickiness and make it more consistent. Nuking it, you heat it up again and evaporate the remaining water. Nobody likes watery pasta that when you add the oil or the sauce it doesn't mix well and shit.

Lucy: Hearing you like this, so convinced, it even seems like you could be right. But I don't think nuking it makes it less sticky…

Natsu: Let Gray cook. If he wants to prepare our dinner, let him. I've seen him cooking before and he's just terrible. I'm not saying I'm good cooking not precooked meals, but I know he's bad at it.

Gray interrupted Natsu: Hey! What's the point of letting me cook if I'm that bad?! You've never said no to my free food!

Natsu: Let me continue. In summary, Gray is terrible at cooking everything except for one thing. Spaghetti Carbonara. Spaghetti Carbonara is the only dish he let me taste and was awesome. So yeah, let him cook. Hopefully he'll also want to clear the table and do the dishes.

Gray: See… someone that at least shows a bit confidence towards me.

Cana: So I guess I have to feel lucky. This man knows how to make well ONE dish and that's the one he cooks today. I hope you don't cook and eat the same every day. One can even get tired of lobster if eaten too often.

Gray: Do you think I eat this every day. Haven't you seen my abs? Pure quality stallion protein here! _(pulling up his shirt and showing his defined abs)._

Cana: Whoa, impressive.

Gray: To be honest, I only have one thing fat, and from the ones present, only Lucy and Natsu know it. Don't you?

Lucy (unnecessarily embarrassed): What do you mean with that?

Natsu: Don't try to hide it, you've seen him naked more than once, and for me, well, aside from the lockers and gym and stuff, Grays keeps stripping all the time. What's weird is that you Cana haven't seen his dick yet.

Gray: By the way, do you know something about Erza, is she OK?

Cana: Don't change the subject. Cana is OK, she just need some lady time in the bathroom. Now, back to the point… Lucy, if we would have to use Gray's wiener to make spaghetti with sausages, how much would we miss the meat?

Gray: What's this creepy shit question supposed to mean?

Lucy: Well… seen this way I guess at full splendor, we wouldn't miss the meat much.

Cana: Whoa… this detail adds more to the story…

Natsu: Hey… so you've seen more than I have, apparently.

Gray: Are you jealous, Natsu?

Natsu: No, now that I think about it, yeah, I've seen your boner several times also. Oh yeah. Now I remember. When sharing room to sleep – he usually wakes up with an almost painful boner and he always sleeps naked -, when we were little and he jerked off in the gild showers, when we went camping, I had to sleep in the same tend as him and I found him jerking off...

Gray: Hey, wait! I just wanked cause you started wanking first!

Natsu: I don't think so… I'm very reserved for this kind of stuff…

Gray: Liar!

Natsu: Noo… Well, in summary: I've seen his boner quite a bit. Nice size, but so much meat I guess it's more a nuisance than a gift. Maybe he would require a surgical reduction to get it fully functional…

Gray: Hey bastard! Don't treat me like some kind of penis freak! My junk is perfectly functional plus a pleasure for the eyes, and more closely, to the rest of the senses.

Lucy: OK, nice, that's OK and enough. When it comes to cooking pasta, Gray's a master. Plus, his junk is perfectly functional and usable. Natsu loves Gray's spaghetti Carbonara and his junk, though he thinks it's maybe too big.

Cana: Now the question is: Is Natsu's dick too average or too small? Is he having some self-stem issues with his size having seen Gray's considerable size?

Natsu: I don't like where this is going. My dick is awesome and works fantastically. Here's the proof!

Natsu pulled out his dick and showed it proud and a bit angry/upset to his friends.

Natsu: Fine, now that you fell in love and want a fire dick just like mine, we can start eating.

Natsu opened a new potato chips bag and started eating copiously. Meanwhile Gray was already cooking the pasta his way. Lucy and Cana went to the bathroom and met Erza there and talked of their things.

As Gray removed the spaghetti in the saucepan he told Natsu "Chill out man, I think your junk is awesome, and now get ready to enjoy my carbonara gravy. I'm using the best chef milk cream."

Natsu rolled his eyes, but inside felt encouraged by Gray's funny-spiced bro-words.

More minutes passed and the girls joined the guys again in the hostel dining room. Casually, they arrived at the exact moment Gray finished cooking.

Gray: OK girls –and Natsu-, get your camping silverware and your single use dishes, cause I'm serving you a spaghetti so good, your mouth is going to orgasm.

Cana: And how is a mouth supposed to orgasm? By spitting?

Gray finished serving the pasta and they tasted it.

Lucy: Hey! This is really good, delicious! And the pasta, it's almost crunchy!

Natsu: I told you, don't ask him anything else, but with the pasta, he knows what he's doing.

Erza: Yes, the sauce is delicious, and this bacon is masterly-fried, but the pasta is raw…

Cana: I don't know what he did, cause I wasn't here, but I agree that these spaghetti are really good. It lacks a bit of salt for me, but I like them. And they are not sticky at all…

Gray (proud of his friend's approval): Didn't I tell you… I'm a boss in the Italian kitchen!

Natsu: Not so fast Luigi! Don't add pizzas just yet.

The guys ate the delicious pasta cooked with the real appropriate protocol to prepare actually hot and not sticky pasta, and with the stomach full of culinary love, they went to sleep to get ready for another fast-paced excursion day.

-The End-

 _May be continued. Don't mind asking for it!_


End file.
